Me At A Drive Thru…
Worker: Welcome to Burger King can I take your order?
Me: I seek the means to fight injustice…
Worker: …
Me: To turn fear against those who prey upon the fearful.
Worker: We sell burgers.
…Torin’s favorite band.
Name Change…
A guy in Nebraska legally changed his name to Tyrannosaurus Rex. I think I’m gonna change mine to Eat Shit and Die. Now that would just be too much fun at parties, job interviews, barbecues, the list just goes on.
But wait, Eat Shit and Die, how could you ever get to know anyone with a name like that? You would constantly be running around telling people to eat shit and die, how would you ever find love? How?!
Wow, that’s a great question, crazy voice in my head. You’ve made me rethink this name change nonsense. I’ll just keep my good ol’ birth name, the one Mamma gave me: Go Fuck Yourself Jr.
And scene.
I’m Fucking Insane…
2585, The future. In a world gone mad, an impossible man made of cheese will claim to be the son of God. He will make right what has gone oh so wrong, and bring hope to the masses…and also fight Nazi cyber-werewolves. His name: Cheesus Christ. Starring Billy Zane.
Just read it.
I love how Robocop has forgotten about the horror of his death, his existential crisis of being man and machine, AND losing his family, and just wants to steal this Asian family’s chicken by breaking the laws of physics and walking out of a TV set. This should have been the plot of Robocop 3.
